In my previous post, I asked the question:
Is there anything harmful that warrants our intervention, not just for children but possibly adults?
I got responses that ranged the spectrum from support for a total ban to concern that doing so would criminalize adults who are using it in what they deem a healthy and responsible way.
As one reader asked, “…as long as the behavior is kept in the privacy of one’s home, and is not negatively affecting others, why legislate against it?”
Last week I told you that I want you to have great sex. Sex where you were able to bring the whole of who you are - body, heart, and soul- and be free. Sex where you don’t have to compartmentalize your emotions from your body, where you don’t worry about what will happen the next morning, or wonder if that condom really protected you.
That kind of sex doesn’t come easy. It’s going to cost you, as anything worth having usually does.
n my last post, I asked the question, “What is sex?”
My thoughts on the standard positions, in short, “You have been weighed. You have been measured. And you have been found wanting.”
It’s time for a new position on Sex, one that appreciates the whole of the person and elevates sex without idolizing it.
SEX. What is it?
Not the literal definition, I know that, thank you very much. And I hope if you’re reading this, you do too.
In the more philosophical sense, what is sex? What is its purpose? And the all-consuming question: is it a need or a desire? Over the next few posts, I’d like to attempt to tackle those questions. Or, at least begin a dialogue. Something so fundamental to who we are as humans, and our existence, cannot be easily summarized in a few hundred words.
Is it sacred? Is it free? Is it dirty? Is it casual or is it serious business?
As the resident Sex Talk gal here at Roo Mag, I get the joy of encouraging parents to have more open and honest conversations with their kids about sex, equipping them to confidently speak to their teens about saving sex.
But what do you do when you find out that, despite all that you’ve said and prayed, your child has still chosen to be sexually active before marriage?
Have I got a treat for you!
Today I get to highlight an e-book recently published by a fellow writer and speaker, Sheila Gregoire, “31 Days to Great Sex." I also get to give away not one, but two free copies. I find it fitting that the first giveaway on this blog is a book about sex. More importantly, how to have GREAT sex.
I have a thing about marriage. And sex. I think both are amazing. And I think they each make the other better. Try to have only one without the other and it’s like trying to have cake without frosting. Or frosting with no cake. That might sound good for a little while, but you’re missing out on cake at it’s best.
Jennifer Marion, a fellow blogger, nominated me this last week for a Beautiful Blogger Award. Please go check out her blog, How’s Your Love Life, where you’ll find her sharing from her heart and own experiences on marriage, relationships, and family from a faith-based perspective that will give you a thing or two to ponder as you go about your day.
I get to share a few new bits of information about myself. So here we go. Feel free to skip to Part Two below for the good stuff:
I was watching Pride and Prejudice this past weekend, which I do every time my husband goes out of town. It has to be the BBC 8 hour version with Colin Firth. If you’re a real fan, you’ll understand. You simply cannot scrimp on Jane Austen’s dialogue or on Mr. Firth. But I digress.
Aside from the intrigue, the scandals, the depth of characters, and the biting wit delivered in refined prose, Austen has an ability to talk about sex, relationships and the male/female dynamic in a manner that is timeless. Take this little gem for instance:
A couple of weeks ago I had a guest post on RooMag.com urging parents to add “Sex Talks with my Teen” to their Back-To-School List. It was a real hit. All of zero people commented on the post.
Perhaps it was a bit premature. Here I am urging parents to talk about this with their kids without addressing one of the underlying questions: “Why?”
Why as parents do you need to have these talks with your children? Yes, plural, not singular. This is not a one time monologue to be delivered with sock puppets and catchy slogans like, “Just say no!” It is an ongoing conversation that begins when they’re young and ends when…they get married.
You’re going to be doing this a lot. Sometimes it will go great, and other times you will be left wondering why in the world you said what you did.
It’s unatural, restricting and goes against our natural instincts, which is why people get restless in marriage,” argued my friend as we sat discussing relationships and sexual fidelity. My line of work has a tendency to bring up these sort of conversations.
He’s not alone in thinking that. It’s a line of thought that gets used to rationalize a myriad of behavior in marriages, such as the one I addressed here .
But this looks at divorce only as the sum of the marriage experience and nothing before.
Newsflash: When the city records office hands you your marriage license, it doesn’t come with a giant reset button for all your habits, attitudes and expectations about relationships.