Now that I'm married, it's easy to forget that I once thought singleness would be my status in life….forever. And I was ok with that! But it seemed that other people were not. In an effort to comfort me for what they saw lacking (a guy) they came up with some pretty amazing comments:
“You’ll find someone else.”
"Just wait. Eventually guys will realize what they're missing and be lining up."
"You're probably not going to get asked out a lot, and that's ok. You're just so unique! You want someone who gets that."
I'm guest posting today over at Verily Magazine. This one is for all you single ladies out there wondering if you're just too much for a guy, or if it's possible to be smart, driven, AND find love.
If you're visiting from Verily, welcome!
A Jew and a Buddhist.
A Muslim and a Hindu.
A Christian and an Atheist.
Sounds like the start of a bad joke, doesn’t it? Actually, I want to discuss inter-faith relationships and marriages. Which may hit a sensitive cord in some depending on your own family, beliefs, and experiences.
Can inter-faith relationships work? Does it matter what is someone’s faith background?
Most of us have grown up never knowing life without internet, cell-phones and email. Yet the frenzy of living in this 24/7 digital world has left many of us relationally exhausted, yearning for a simpler way. Even my most plugged-in, wired friends call to complain that it’s just too difficult to know what to do. More options have only made it more complicated, blurring the dating guidelines.
Now, when you’re interested in someone, you Google their history, comb through their Facebook pictures for past girlfriends/boyfriends, and follow them on Twitter for the play-by-play of their life.
Or maybe that was just me.
The Problem: All of those digital mediums tell you about that person but they don’t help you know them.
In my last article, we came up with the WHY behind our relationship boundaries, discussing how the WHY gives purpose, lays the foundation, and keeps us committed to the boundaries each of us sets for ourselves.
Today, we’re discussing the HOW.
Building healthy, effective boundaries begins with envisioning where you want these relationships to go and what you’d like them to become. As Stephen Covey, author of the best-selling book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, so wisely says, “begin with the end in mind.”
Boundaries. They sound about as exciting as putting on a straight jacket. Unless you understand the WHY behind them, boundaries seem restrictive, rather than empowering. WHY gives them purpose, lays the foundation for you to build upon, and is what will keep you committed when it’s hard, painful, and you’re ready to throw in the towel.
You have to own this “why,” believe it is the core of who you are, and decide it is worth it for YOU. It is your WHY that you will keep coming back to as your relationships change, as you grow, and as seasons come and go.