Jane Austen on Hooking-up

I was watching Pride and Prejudice this past weekend, which I do every time my husband goes out of town. It has to be the BBC 8 hour version with Colin Firth. If you’re a real fan, you’ll understand. You simply cannot scrimp on Jane Austen’s dialogue or on Mr. Firth. But I digress.

Aside from the intrigue, the scandals, the depth of characters, and the biting wit delivered in refined prose, Austen has an ability to talk about sex, relationships and the male/female dynamic in a manner that is timeless. Take this little gem for instance:

Parents, Why You Need to Talk About Sex.

A couple of weeks ago I had a guest post on RooMag.com urging parents to add “Sex Talks with my Teen” to their Back-To-School List. It was a real hit. All of zero people commented on the post.

Perhaps it was a bit premature. Here I am urging parents to talk about this with their kids without addressing one of the underlying questions: “Why?”

Why as parents do you need to have these talks with your children? Yes, plural, not singular. This is not a one time monologue to be delivered with sock puppets and catchy slogans like, “Just say no!” It is an ongoing conversation that begins when they’re young and ends when…they get married.

You’re going to be doing this a lot. Sometimes it will go great, and other times you will be left wondering why in the world you said what you did.

What Habits Are You Forming?

It’s unatural, restricting and goes against our natural instincts, which is why people get restless in marriage,” argued my friend as we sat discussing relationships and sexual fidelity. My line of work has a tendency to bring up these sort of conversations.

He’s not alone in thinking that. It’s a line of thought that gets used to rationalize a myriad of behavior in marriages, such as the one I addressed here .

But this looks at divorce only as the sum of the marriage experience and nothing before.

Newsflash: When the city records office hands you your marriage license, it doesn’t come with a giant reset button for all your habits, attitudes and expectations about relationships.

9/11: Never Forget

Today is 9/11.

It has been 11 years since:

Two planes crashed into the World Trade Centers,

One plane crashed into the Pentagon,

One plane crashed into a field in Pennsylvania, and

2, 792 people died.

Until that day, we didn’t know most of their names.

Hope Springs: 3 Important Truths for Marriage

When my husband and I went to see Hope Springs, we were the youngest in the theater by at least 20 years. Clearly, we were not the target demographic.

The movie centers around Kay (Meryl Streep) and Arthur (Tommy Lee Jones), a couple who have just celebrated their 31st wedding anniversary. Theirs is a painfully hollow relationship where the passion is as dried up as a mummy, with husband and wife sleeping in separate rooms. 

While this may be a movie geared towards our parents, there are 3 Important Truths to be gleaned for our own marriages, whether just starting out or yet to begin.

The Most Unromantic Proposal

I was watching The Newsroom season finale this week and …

Spoiler Alert!: Only a small one but if you plan to watch the finale, skip to the (*) asterisk down the page.

There’s a moment when one of the characters, Don, invites his on-again, off-again girlfriend Maggie into his apartment. The lights are off, the living room is glowing with candles and Don pulls out a box. At this point, any girl watching this scene with the sound off would have immediately thought, “Oh, he’s going to propose!”

Which he did. Except instead of a diamond ring as a symbol of his love and devotion, Don offers Maggie a key to his apartment.