In case you missed it, this week I guest posted over at Verily Magazine, a fabulous new venture that is written by young women, for young women.
Here's a teaser of what I said on the Battle of the Sexes:
As the song from Annie Get Your Gun says, “Anything you can do, I can do better.”
Personally, I’ve found that a little competition can be healthy; it drives me to push further, try harder and endure longer. But if I take my competitive spirit to an extreme, especially in a relationship, it can be grating, hurtful and exhausting; if I’m not careful, I can cause distance between those closest to me. Although I want to be a strong, successful woman, I’ve learned that I need to reevaluate what that really means for me.
There are some great articles out this week that I highly recommend checking out.
Over at Verily Magazine, Kara Eschbach and Monica Gabriel respond to an article in The Atlantic that touted “Boys on the Side,” as a good strategy for women seeking to pursue career first, love second. Sheila Gregoire, Courtney, Jennifer, and Darlene Schacht have collectively focused this week on helping women revamp their marriages by speaking words of praise towards their husbands.
What does this have to do with us who are young adults, many who are single and not yet married?
I was watching Pride and Prejudice this past weekend, which I do every time my husband goes out of town. It has to be the BBC 8 hour version with Colin Firth. If you’re a real fan, you’ll understand. You simply cannot scrimp on Jane Austen’s dialogue or on Mr. Firth. But I digress.
Aside from the intrigue, the scandals, the depth of characters, and the biting wit delivered in refined prose, Austen has an ability to talk about sex, relationships and the male/female dynamic in a manner that is timeless. Take this little gem for instance:
A couple of weeks ago I had a guest post on RooMag.com urging parents to add “Sex Talks with my Teen” to their Back-To-School List. It was a real hit. All of zero people commented on the post.
Perhaps it was a bit premature. Here I am urging parents to talk about this with their kids without addressing one of the underlying questions: “Why?”
Why as parents do you need to have these talks with your children? Yes, plural, not singular. This is not a one time monologue to be delivered with sock puppets and catchy slogans like, “Just say no!” It is an ongoing conversation that begins when they’re young and ends when…they get married.
You’re going to be doing this a lot. Sometimes it will go great, and other times you will be left wondering why in the world you said what you did.
It’s unatural, restricting and goes against our natural instincts, which is why people get restless in marriage,” argued my friend as we sat discussing relationships and sexual fidelity. My line of work has a tendency to bring up these sort of conversations.
He’s not alone in thinking that. It’s a line of thought that gets used to rationalize a myriad of behavior in marriages, such as the one I addressed here .
But this looks at divorce only as the sum of the marriage experience and nothing before.
Newsflash: When the city records office hands you your marriage license, it doesn’t come with a giant reset button for all your habits, attitudes and expectations about relationships.
Today is 9/11.
It has been 11 years since:
Two planes crashed into the World Trade Centers,
One plane crashed into the Pentagon,
One plane crashed into a field in Pennsylvania, and
2, 792 people died.
Until that day, we didn’t know most of their names.
When my husband and I went to see Hope Springs, we were the youngest in the theater by at least 20 years. Clearly, we were not the target demographic.
The movie centers around Kay (Meryl Streep) and Arthur (Tommy Lee Jones), a couple who have just celebrated their 31st wedding anniversary. Theirs is a painfully hollow relationship where the passion is as dried up as a mummy, with husband and wife sleeping in separate rooms.
While this may be a movie geared towards our parents, there are 3 Important Truths to be gleaned for our own marriages, whether just starting out or yet to begin.
Today I have a guest post over at RooMag.com for parents of teens and pre-teens entitled “Do You Have This on Your Check List?”
If you don’t have kids yet, consider this your chance to get a jump-start on being awesome parents. At least when it comes to handling this normally awkward topic. You’re on your own for everything else.
I was watching The Newsroom season finale this week and …
Spoiler Alert!: Only a small one but if you plan to watch the finale, skip to the (*) asterisk down the page.
There’s a moment when one of the characters, Don, invites his on-again, off-again girlfriend Maggie into his apartment. The lights are off, the living room is glowing with candles and Don pulls out a box. At this point, any girl watching this scene with the sound off would have immediately thought, “Oh, he’s going to propose!”
Which he did. Except instead of a diamond ring as a symbol of his love and devotion, Don offers Maggie a key to his apartment.
I’m married to the most amazing man. Really. He has the patience of Job, the integrity of Abraham Lincoln and the looks of a rugged cowboy, all with fiery red hair. And he loves me something crazy.
But my husband is not perfect. And neither am I.
Shocking, I know. Being married nearly two years made that glaringly apparent to me.